Comedy 『 』 ... ... all who want to pull out so funny giggle .-christian louboutin cheap

-------- monk to Comedy
matchmaking dating agency: name?
monk: monk, Tripitaka, or you can call me Xiao Tang, Xuan Zang.
matchmaking: in the end called?
Monkey: TOM.
matchmaking: age?
Monkey: small.
dating: not? What year were you born?
Monkey: Tang Dynasty.
matchmaking: Occupation?
Monkey: alms.
matchmaking: What is begging?
Monkey: is begging.
matchmaking: a housing it?
Monkey: no.
dating: What do you live?
Monkey: heaven.
matchmaking: a transport?
Monkey: Yes.
matchmaking: What type?
Monkey: White Horse.
matchmaking: you had a girlfriend before?
Monkey: Yes.
matchmaking: all What is it?
Monkey: White-Boned Demon, Zhizhu Jing, Niu devil ... ...
matchmaking: you play the very deep-ah!
Monkey: That is the fun, feeling broken.
matchmaking: Why break it?
Monkey: They all want to eat my meat.
matchmaking: What are the requirements for you mate?
Monkey: First of all like to eat meat either.
matchmaking: That nun, OK?
Monkey: bad, this is the same root, fratricidal.
matchmaking: it Guanyin, OK?
Monkey: bad, Guanyin is my boss, I do not want to place an office romance.
dating: that the Queen Mother, OK?
Monkey: bad back too hard, I do not like the MILF.
matchmaking: I OK?
Tang Priest: This ... ... is good to be nuns.
matchmaking: What hobbies do you have talent it?
Monkey: I will RAP rap.
matchmaking: show it.
Monkey: When I send someone. (Pick up the phone,
Monkey: Monkey, we have to perform HIPHOP, I came to RAP, you come to hip-hop.

Wukong: again ... ... (sweat)
Monkey: COME ON COME ON. When in a while, when in a while, YEAH, YEAH, Ami Ami entrusted ... ... (magic spell rap version)
Monkey King: Master mercy, Master mercy. (Rolling on the floor full of action performed BREAKING floor)
matchmaking: Khan! Turned out to be animal abuse






a computer hacker and a computer hacker
chats idiot: I have control of your computer
White: Oh
hackers: a funk? ! Hey
white: just come to help me kill the virus it, many of the recent problems of my Lord
machine hackers: ... ...

white: how do you always casual in my computer and out?
hackers: You can install a firewall
white: install a firewall, you can not access it?
hackers: No ah, I just want to increase the point of interest, so control your computer makes me feel an idiot

White: I heard that you will create
hackers: ah
white: you can control someone else's computer? !
hacker: is generally the
white: you can black out those sites?
hackers: of course, did not hear people call me a
white: ... ... Oh, I thought it was because you look black ... ...

Hacker: I'm back! !
white: you do not feel bored every day you come in?
hacker: is pain, your machine is the worst I've ever seen one of the
white: is not it, that was the brand name
Hacker: I was mentally retarded in addition to your yard game machine the only virus a
White: Well, you see my Do not remember where installed, looking for a long time Jesus
hackers: ... ... Bye

hackers: Hi! I came
white: not seen you for several days, was my firewall blocking you?
hackers: Haha, jokes on your machine is easier than me, not you miss me?
White: I want to ask you a favor
hacker: What?
White: Can you modify that data into the power system
hackers: ... ... What do you want! !
White: Please, help me get to my house this month, electricity consumption of the bar ... ...
hackers: die! !

hacker: you're dead Where is it? ! !
white: ... ah ... out to play for a few days, find me doing?
Hacker: I'm looking for something
White: What I find here?
hackers: the virus, looking for a few years ago, an old virus, the virus on your machine only saved the most complete it!

Hacker: I'm coming! !
white: ... ...
hackers: how not to speak?
white: a bad mood
hackers: Who bullied you?
White: I have not lost a QQ number, there are my first love
online hackers: this simple, I'll get back
White: Take it back
hackers: No possible, tell me what number?
white: Woo ... ... just do not remember

hacker: hey, I have done a lot of fun
White: What
Hacker: I go to the forum posted
top white: This very common ah
Hacker: I see stickers on the top,supra skytop 2 navy gold, enjoy the accused landlord is a pig, a good vent
White: Wow, so exciting, I never dared would be censored!
Hackers: Yes, has been banned.
white: this is also fun? !
Hackers: Yes, ah, because I use your ID

white: you're pro?
hackers: You can say it.
white: high to what extent?
hackers: ah, I am bored to their own
white black: Ah, this I will!
hacker :#¥%! You can? !
White: Yes, ah, one off it was dark. . . . .
hackers: get out ........!

white: black, come out, my QQ password has been stolen by, 555 ~ ~ ~ ~
hackers: No problem, I'll get you back in ten minutes ......( ) did not ah, I used your number is no problem landing ah ......
white: then why did I not go up?
Hacker: I see ........ sister, you open like a m! s! n the login box ......
White: Oh, the two can not be universal ah ......< br>
hacker: Hey!
hacker: Hey! White ~
hacker: how to ignore me?
White: I was crying.
hackers: ah? how you? Who bullied you?
White: No, who did not bully me < br> hacker: how to cry oh?
White: Look Crayon, a small new good to the poor lost ~ ~ 555555 ~
hacker :-_-|||, that you continue to cry!!! !

White: I would like to install antivirus software
hackers: Well, well, you need an antivirus computer is.
White: I want to install brand, preferably SONY, and Or on the BMW line.
hackers: adidas, OK?
White: OK, you help me install about it.
hackers: Fuck! I have something!

White: black, if I want to delete something not used on the computer, but can not afford to delete how to do?
hackers: You can start your computer, press F8, enter But I have had never used it ah.
Hacker: I should not discuss the matter with you! by ~

white: black Oh? your summer vacation meters have some fun? < br> hackers: There is ah, how suddenly ask?
white: even given you a detailed point ..
Hacker: Oh, you, etc. ..
(15 minutes later) < br> hackers: No, ah, you want me to send you doing?
white: even the teacher to even pay summer jobs, summer fun in mind 10 ..
Hackers: Kaokao by!!

Hackers: We have known for some time, right?
White: Well, ah
hackers: Do you think I treat you bad?
White: Not bad ..
hackers: hee hee (shy)
White: Why? borrow sore?
hacker :````````````
white: even meters of money, but also due to monitor 5 the money did not also do!
hacker :```````````` when I did not ask ..
White: out! ask you! ·
hacker: What? < br> White: You will steal QQ Why?
hackers: Nonsense!
white: even help you steal a hacker ..
No. QQ: that number ..
White: 10,000
hacker :!·#¥% ... ... -*

hacking: here I go again ..
white: more precisely, I ask you something ..
hacker: What ? this is not let me help you put water also changed it!
white: you will crack the password for?
hackers: nonsense, I was hacking Oh ........... .
White: The Da Vinci Code Solutions help me about it!
hackers: to die, idiot movie to see more ............

small White: You're into my computer every day you find interesting?
Hackers: fun ah!
White: What is the point
Hacker: I'm studying your machine that is full of virus .. Why do not crash
White: I know, ah!
Hacker: Why?
White: This is called fire with fire!

White: I would like to control your computer
Hackers: I will not have others into my computer I will be mad
White: This is not fair!!
hackers: ah, well, you control the white :........ But the
I will not ........
Hacker: So I agree with ah!!!

Hacker: I'm white
us again: This may be our last met
hackers: Oh? What happened?
White: I want to reinstall the system, antivirus, install a firewall will not let you come in!
Hacker: So you hate me so ... ....... Well, since I'm not coming, bye
white: ah .......... hey, wait a minute!! first taught me reinstall the system!
hacker :....................< br>
white: computer problems you can answer you?
Hackers: should be able to
white: which key on the keyboard the most handsome?
hacker :.............. do not know
white: of course, > Hackers: fainted!

white: ask you one more computer problems you can answer you?
hackers: as long as the problem is not your idiot
White: I'm serious! ! you can operate my computer up?
hackers: ah, yes
white: that problem, you can solve it
hacker: Your question is, should not be difficult
white : Great, I turn the fan does not seem to help me change a bar
hacker :........ I go first

Hacker: I'm coming ~ ~ ~ ~ ~~~~~~~~~
hackers: Huh? Pathwalker?
hackers: not in? This is not a waste of electricity you?
hackers: My God, where are you ah, come out ah, Do not scare me ah ~ ~ ~ ~
hackers: not in? I always take my copy files from your computer to a disk, and paste it to another disk a hundred times, a hundred times ah ~! ~
hackers : has not come yet?
White: Haha, I have been, and just my keyboard just bad, So now I know, jack white out ..

: ask you problem
hacker: says
white: In addition to me, you can also control other people's computers do?
Hackers: Yes, you can ........
White: No networking The also okay?
hacker :..............
white: you can remote control to open someone else's machine do?
hacker :..... ...........
white: You can steal top secret documents now!!!
Hacker: I think you saw a lot of the movie to wash sleep

hackers: so late, and how not to offline?
White: Oh, is the next, and I went to pull the power
hackers: slow! you will not shut down?
White: Yes ah, just point the shutdown, it does not move, can only press the power
hacker: you modify the registry: Open HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINESOFTWAREMicrosoftWindowsNTCurrentVersionWinlogon right click on the Winlogon key, select ;, enter br> White: You finally see you, tell you a good news ..
hackers: Ahem,christian louboutin cheap, I have to tell you bad news ..
white: ah, what the bad news, said fast Say it
Hacker: I have been poisoned ..
white: wow ha ha, god, black, you will have today ah ..
Hacker: I'm in the influenza virus ~! ~
White:!

white: white since I was not allowed to say!
hacker: how? drink melatonin was?
White: Well, actually I am very smart Today I invented a new way to power Jesus
hackers: Oh, that to listen to
white: I found a fan of this chassis no use, turn so fast, too much power, I ready to break it out ..
hackers: hoho ~ ~ ~ You're a genius, if you pull the gates at home, more power!!
White :......... . like oh?!
hackers: Not like that!

white to hackers call: You are not really very powerful
hackers: so-so friends
White: bragging ! you have the ability to shut down my machine in the Trojan hacking ..
: This place is difficult! you waiting
hackers: Haha, get, regret it
White: Hey, thank you friends ~ ~ ~ ~ I play outside, just want you to help me shut down ........
hackers: halo ~ ~ ~ ~

white: 555555 my password and forgotten < br> Hackers: bad memory put passwords on paper
white thing: too long and complex and can be copied again to man exhausted
hackers: to you this intelligence, set the password so long doing < br> White: I think only complex to remember in order to prevent people themselves
hackers to decipher: the only effect of the results of your password is hard for themselves ........< br>
hackers : World Cup about to start, men's holiday ah!
white: not just a man, I like it ~ ~
hackers: You?! you can understand football?
White: Yes ah, climbs up the World Cup I will look at each of the
hackers: Ha, good, we can finally have a common language, and which team do you like ah
white: of course the Chinese team!!
hackers: No language. . . . . .

white: black, come yet?
Honker: I am a Honker, tracking a hacker's ~
hackers come to this: are you talking about me? ^ - ^ < br> Honker: | | | him how much the machine house virus, was it you did?!
hacker :==||| some, and I come before with about the same now ~ do not believe you asked himself
white: it is not it!
black :..........
white: he came to my fan does not turn, and depressed!
Hackers :....................
Honker :..................... .....< br>
Honker: do not be afraid, I'll kill the virus it!
hackers: 8 to ah ah ~ my virus database ~ ~ ~
White: Well, I think anti-virus for a long time your friends ~! ^ V ^
hackers: 55555555 ~
Honker: will you wait ten minutes later

Honker: depressed ~ never seen so many virus @ _ @
white :................
hackers: 55555555
Honker: wow ~! What is the age of the virus ah ~?! < br> White :................
hackers: Ha
Honker: help ~!!! my computer is infected with the virus you @. @
white :=_=|||
hackers: the descendants of the old virus to revenge, haha ​​^ - ^
another ten minutes
Honker: * _ * the latest hardware with the software firewall are Fangbu Zhu, 555,555 ~ I quit-_-# gone!
hackers: Haha, I proved the virus library is invincible, Guwahati ha ha ~!!!
White: red, do not lose heart, free play again ^ = ^
hackers: Oh, free antivirus come again Oh, do not send (^*^)
walking Honker :@#$%^& *+?=< br>
white: in you?
hacker :.......... ah
White: Yeah my computer is broken, how do ah
hackers: No ah, I just checked, no problem
white: how I lost how to enter numbers have become the stars of it?
hackers: ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... < br>
white: depressed ah, depressed .....
hacker: What happened?
White: I'm sorry, Pluto has been expelled from the nine planets of the
hackers: ..... What is the relationship with you?
White: I think that once seemed to go farther Jesus
hackers: go to Mars now, it is suitable for you!

Hackers: Yesterday a companies come to me, saying that companies want to sign a monthly salary of 8000, bonus is another, do you feel attractive?
White: If they are willing to sign me, I'll go now report
hacker: you go What can you do?
white: ah, menial work Leihuo quit, technology live and can not do, manage it, I can try to engage in management, as a vice president or something, as long as hackers can give me a monthly salary of 8000
: Do you think companies do have such a silly?
White: Well you ask me, maybe people have been looking for people like me do when the vice president, Life is full of hackers
: OK, tomorrow recommend to my enemies!

White: I have to help the students built a computer hacker
: to you?
White: Yes ah ..
hackers: big miracle, you will actually repair the computer????
White: What is so strange that she can not read CD-ROM disc ..
hackers movie: She is not the DVD movie into VCD CD-ROM, and then do not put out?
White: Yes ah, so she definitely knows Oujiu bad drive, call her tomorrow to buy a VCD CD-ROM ..
hacker :·······< br>
white: I Hackers want to buy a notebook
: Soft surface or hard surface copy copy?
white: faint, a laptop 啦!
hacker: What do you buy that?
white: play games, Internet, the key is to be beautiful, lightweight, easy to take out the most important thing is to be used than the air next to Jen, you say I buy what is good?
hackers: ah such a high demand, Wenquxing I'm playing - KartRider .. you help me steal a car exhaust 8!
hackers: It was only in South Korea server inside the!
White: I do not care !!! you come from South Korea to steal me! I want to use in China! that I am not very cow! Oh ~ ~ ~!
hackers: ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... I have something, I go first a!

White: Can you play Audition you?
Hackers: Yes! Why?
white: you get me a Tom. Cruise up! I'm so porridge he Yeah! let him dance with me!:)
hackers: 88

hackers: I would like to ask you a question
White: Asking
hacker :....... ..... do you have a boyfriend?
White: Yes!
hacker :.......... what kind of person he is?
white: tall, handsome , mighty, open large company, I'm super good ..
hackers: Oh, a little thing I go first ......
White: Hey, Hey ~~~~~< br >
White: Hey, how long did not see you, ah, was arrested?!
hacker :.......... No, really busy, how are you
White: Well, I also really busy, I play with customs Lianliankan!!
hacker :.......... you and your boyfriend okay
White: boyfriend ? What boyfriend?
hackers: You do not have a mighty tall and handsome boyfriend do?!
white: oh ~ ~ ~ ~ invention, afraid you look down on me ..... ...
hacker :...... you, this super foolish !!!!< br>
hacker :.............. I like you < br> White: virus?
hacker: What the virus ah? I mean, unfortunately, I found that I really like you
White: Another 忽悠 me, you always call me an idiot
hackers: the ah, you're an idiot, but I order to maintain world peace, decided to sacrifice yourself, lest you go to the scourge of others ..
white :..................
White: You really like me ah

hacker :.......... white: how much they like
hackers: when the heart is empty but not pain , saw it, head pain
White: Oh, I see hacker
:?? you know what?
White: So you are to me, like a child tooth decay side chocolate!

day, a stranger added a hacker.
Stranger: Hello
hackers: if you're
idlers Stranger: I am beautiful! not allowed to be so rude to the beautiful women
hackers: Unfortunately, I have a person like
stranger: I pretty than the person you like 100 times
hackers: But she is the most beautiful in my mental
Stranger: Good nauseating
hackers: Shubufengpei
Stranger: Well ....









< br> 1 geography teacher asked the students, where the river flows to you?
fierce stand up and sing a student: rivers to the east ah.
teacher ignored him, and went on to say, the number of stars in the sky ah?
students who has sung: the stars participating Compass ah.
teacher shortness of breath: You get out!
students: let's say walked away.
helpless teacher said: you sick, right?
students: You have, I have all have ah!
Teacher: Do you say a try .....< br> Student: Road indignant roar ah!
Teacher: Do you believe I beat you?
students: the hand on hand ...
teacher angry: I will let you drop!
students: catch Chuang Kyushu!
2 Xiaye Ban a woman, a man followed up to no good, cautious fear of women, passing the cemetery, inspiration, on the tomb said: Dad, I'm back, open the door ah. Men's big fear, Wawataijiao flee. Women's peace of mind, was about to leave, suddenly came from the grave sound gloomy: girl, you have forgotten his key ah. Women's horror, and wah-wah flee. Then drilled a Tomb from the grave and said: by the delay of my work, scared you! Tomb of the Carter, found next to an old man holding the chisel a tombstone is curious, and asked the old man said angrily, NND, they put my name on the wrong ... ... the great fear of grave robbers, cockroaches with the run. Old man sneer: hand, the old man is surprised and suddenly a voice said: Old crap out, rolling down a hill! Then climbed out of a garbage collector from the grass, faint voice: Then a guy holding a baked sweet potatoes out from the grass: from Beijing, I love chess! 4 stealing food trading (trading of love to change) Comedy


stealing my food to come back

I know the truth of my last tears fell
stealing my food
you back a debt of conscience even if I still do not come back for more gold
also had to steal food to steal your food to steal food
now, it has to coax me laugh
fiscal stealing my food not want to do business you can buy

let me let me know and I broke away to steal food
rap: stealing your food, give you back pain to see you and I
The tears fall
steal your food, I back the debt
conscience even if you also have to buy more gold coins did not come back
Although I have to steal food, and later came to understand
Now I want with my gold coax you laugh
I understand that I was wrong, stealing food
like you said even if it is not trading to buy not sell
daughter stole my food to me also the last to know the truth
back my tears fell
dishes you stole my conscience back the debt
even more gold coins have been changed also I do not come back
did you steal food to steal food to steal food
now, it has to coax me laugh
fiscal steal my food not want to do business you can buy
let me let me know and I broke away to steal my food
heartless to steal food is too injury accidents
vegetables wilt before watering hard to understand
want to do business not to steal food you can buy
let me see through to grow vegetables people do not deserve to collect food
had to steal food to steal your food to steal food
now, it has to coax me laugh
fiscal steal my food not want to do business you can buy me
I know I broke away to steal six rich food
5, respectively, a Japanese, a Russian, a Frenchman, a Norwegian, a German and an American.
to go shopping with them. Because the rich, they have little need to buy a. Only those strange things to attract their attention. Coincides with the mall is the art of hype he first entered the toilet, the six wealthy they stopped to watch.
looked for a moment, one of the proposal:
Japanese love clean, then bought a who favor wood products, then bought a
six people happily brought home the toilet.
month later, six people in a business meeting was again conspire together, chatting in the process, the subject unconsciously to the last purchase toilet.
angry Japanese, the first statement: has been disinfected, please be assured use 'message. can now program all hell broke loose, I did not stand up, it began to spray plastic film on my butt! I have written on the bottom' has been disinfected, please be assured using the '!
Russians then complained: said Green threw a ass. Now all run up the ass! together to facilitate completion, full ass wood scum! half, it began to call out: 'Now the computer has crashed the toilet, please stand up to wear trousers, covered toilet seat,christian louboutin prive, toilet lid cover, and then opened the toilet lid, and open a toilet seat, then took off his pants again sit down, the toilet will be able to restart the computer. Thank you! technical support phone 12345678. 'Well! three thousand songs, a convenient time for random play, the results of nine of ten, it is broadcast the same song - the U.S. national anthem, which led to a sit down I have to stand up and salute immediately put pants!